I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
