What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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