so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can I color on your dick again?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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