maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
