I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
