My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
