he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
