if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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