Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
