I'm really into asian looking animals
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
