he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
