Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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