You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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