I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
