If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
