A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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