wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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