hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
