this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
