have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
