Apparently you make a good broom.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
