dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
