Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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