Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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