apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
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