this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
