Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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