I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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