I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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