So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
