Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
