if i can run in heels then i can drive
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
