You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
