He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
