Yo dont text me then not text me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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