come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
