when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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