yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
