She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
