He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
