see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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