you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
