i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
