i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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