If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
it hurts more in the daytime
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
