i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
