he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
