I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
