Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
