he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
