I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
